The Gift Of Healing Hands
I grew up in Bellevue, a small French Canadian town in central Saskatchewan. I had a wonderful childhood and I will not bore you with all the details of my early years. We were poor and did not know it and we always felt safe and loved.
I am a registered nurse and worked at City Hospital and Royal University, on the Surgical, Observation Ward and finally in ICU. I also worked in Nursing Homes. I am happily married to my second husband, Scott. My first marriage was unhappy and an unfortunate mistake. It was annulled by the Catholic Church. I am now happily married and my husband and I have two boys.
I am now 64 years old.
I have always believed in God, was faithful as a youngster but later on when I left home, was not as faithful to weekly Mass as I should have been. I could always justify my missing because I worked shift work. I always believed in God, I just thought that He was far away and not too concerned with my little life.
In 1984, I was in a car accident. After the accident I had terrible whiplash headaches. My headaches were very severe, enough that I couldn't work and had to take some strong pain medication.
In 1988, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. It was a rare cancer and she suffered much.
In 1989, a priest from down east came to Saskatchewan from down East, his name is Father Émelien Tardif. He has since passed away and a Beatification process has been started. There was a healing mass at St. Patrick’s Church in Saskatoon in July of 1989. My mother had asked that we all go there to pray for my sister... Well, I didn’t want to go, but you know, when your mother asks you to do something, you just do it.
I was married in 1988, and became pregnant in 1989. I still had these terrible headaches everyday, most often twice a day. I didn't want to go to this healing service, I wasn’t sure if I believed in those kinds of miracles. I believed in miracles of nature or childbirth. I only went because my mother asked. We were sitting in the balcony, I felt ill at ease, not sure what to expect, more curious then not, when Father Tardif began speaking in ‘tongues.’ I had never heard that before in my life. I thought, "Oh my, this is weird but it sounds kind of nice." It was like being in heaven and hearing the angels sing. It made me cry. When the congregation started singing in tongues I figured they must have practiced all year for it to sound that good.
Then Father Tardif said, "Someone is being healed of arthritis in the left shoulder," and someone stood up. For about thirty minutes, he would pray in tongues, and then say, "Someone is being healed of this, someone is being healed of that." People stood up right, left and center. I thought again, "I don’t believe this! They must have talked to each other before! As it was, I didn't want to be there, it was very hot in the church and I was pregnant. Then all of a sudden he said, "Someone has been experiencing a lot of headaches in the last few years and is now experiencing a lot of heat in the back of their neck." Well, I was experiencing a lot of heat in the back of my neck but there was no way I was going to stand up and say: "it’s me!" I rationalized that because I was pregnant, had long hair and it was July, that was the reason I was so hot, I thought HORMONES!!! so I said nothing. After that night, I never had another headache again. For five years I had these constant headaches and then all of a sudden, Bang! the headaches were gone. I knew in my heart this was a miracle, that God had healed me because I knew how severe the headaches had been. I never told anybody because they would think I was going crazy. You know, one just doesn't talk about ‘stuff like that.’ I didn't say anything to anybody except to my husband and immediate family.
Then July 15th,1991, my sister, Juliette passed away. I started thinking, God healed me and He didn't heal her, though she was a lot sicker than I was. (I haven't been as grateful for this healing as I should be.) I started asking the Holy Spirit to help me; to make me more grateful, make me a better wife, a better mom, a better sister, a better daughter and a good example to everyone I meet, and to use me if He needed me. I thought I was pretty safe. Heaven only knows what the Holy Spirit would ever use me for because I'm just a stay-at-home mom, I never see anybody, never do anything, never go anywhere. But be careful what you pray because you just might get it.
I started reading about the apparitions at Fatima, Lourdes, Medjugorje, in Garabandal and in Guadalupe and all the messages that go with these apparitions. I started thinking, "Oh my goodness! We're all going to hell because nobody's doing any of this stuff, nobody!"
We have all become blasé about God . . . You know, we all live in la-la-land and God is somebody we go to when we need something or when we are really in pain or when we are really desperate, then we call upon God. I thought (I have to start praying for my family, for my friends and for the conversion of sinners.) I started thinking (I have to start saying the rosary), because the rosary is the most powerful prayer I knew at that time. Since then, I have learned that saying one Hail Mary with a loving heart, can convert a soul, take a soul out of purgatory and bring it to heaven, can stop a war and can change the world. This is how powerful a single Hail Mary can be. I was thinking ( I have to start saying the rosary.) Now, I don't like saying the rosary by myself so I started asking people: "Would you like to meet once a week and we can say the rosary?" Nobody wanted to say the rosary with me. This was from 1991 to 1995.
In September 1995, the Bishop’s Annual Appeal was on. This wonderful lady and her daughter came to my home. I invited them in and in our conversation I said, "You know, I've been looking for someone to say the rosary with and nobody wants to." One lady said, "I'll say the rosary with you." I said, "That's wonderful!" So that very week, once a week, we began saying the rosary together. We would light a candle and it was so nice and quiet. Every week we would meet to pray the rosary.
In Feb. 1996, Lent began and we decided we would like to do something extra. We started meeting more often and going to mass, going to Adoration and saying the rosary sometimes five times a week. I'm not sure at what point it happens but when you say the rosary on a regular basis, your life changes. Our lives began to change and it was wonderful.
In November 1996 another lady came to me. We were at Adoration and she invited us to her Marian Cenacle every Friday at one o’clock. We started going there every Friday afternoon and we met many wonderful people there as well.
( update November 2007...This lady has passed away of cancer...please pray for her...her name is Sylvia...Thank you)
Then in 1997, things started happening. When I think back at that time, these were just coincidences, now I know that these were little divine interventions.
On July 13, 1997 I went to Sylvia’s home, She had invited a visionary from Vancouver, this lady prayed over me and said, "God has a mission for you to do." You know, when somebody tells you something like this, you never know what to think. The first thing that came to my head is " MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" What could God possibly want with me??? I'm useless, never go anywhere, I never see anybody...
Two days later, on a Tuesday, on July 15th, it was the anniversary of my sister’s death. Every year, we go to St Laurent, the Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine by Duck Lake. We went with a whole bunch of people and said the rosary as a group. I went into this little boutique and found this small Holy Spirit medal. It was so beautiful and I bought it. I had the priest ( Father Fioleau) bless the medal. I put it on my chain and I was so happy about this small Holy Spirit medal. I was showing everybody saying, "Look, look, I found my Holy Spirit." " I found my Holy Spirit!" They all thought I was a little nuts over this little medal. Later my mom told me I looked like a crazy woman...
Sylvia took the medal in her hand and said, "It's just burnt my hand." I touched the medal, it was warm but it was July and it was warm outside, the medal didn't burn my hand. Then she looked at me and said, "You're filled with the Holy Spirit; you're going to receive a gift from the Holy Spirit," Again, you just don’t know what to think or say, when somebody tells you something like this. Then she said, "Maybe you'll speak in tongues." Well, I had heard this before with Father Tardiff and I thought (maybe in ten years I'll speak in tongues... I can handle that.)
The very next day I went to St. Mary’s Church, I go there several times a week. After mass I met a friend outside the church... I said, "Yesterday, we went to St Laurent and we all said the rosary, and did the Way of the Cross and it was a beautiful day and look… I found my Holy Spirit," as I was showing her my Holy Spirit medal. She said, "I just had a manifestation of the Holy Spirit," I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know people were in tune with the Holy Spirit to that point. She said, "I feel the Holy Spirit is right here with us." I thought, (well... we both went to Communion, we're both outside the Church, maybe He's just stepping out to say hello,) I didn't know. That night we had Adoration at St. John Bosco Church.
I went at nine o’clock and I sat right in the middle of the Church. I thought (I'm going to have a really good hour of Adoration because I have lots to pray for.) I always start with the Our Father, but I couldn't say the Our Father, I couldn't pray at all. I thought, "Oh, my goodness, how come I can't focus?" You know, usually I can focus on prayer. I started looking at the walls and wondering all kinds of things. I started looking at the architecture of the church, how if we turned it upside down, it could look like Noah's arch and how would they ever be able to put all those animals in there. … What am I going to make for supper tomorrow night? The Blessed Sacrament was exposed and I really felt bad for not being able to focus on my praying. I thought I might as well do some reading or something but I could not focus on anything. Though I stayed a whole hour, I didn't say one prayer. As I went home I felt bad at how unfocused I had been and that these hours of Adoration are so few we shouldn’t waste them.
Now in my home, at that time, I did leg waxing which is the removal of hair from women’s legs. The next morning, a lady came, she has a little boy. Her son was only five years old and was going deaf. The doctors had said that he would be completely deaf. He had been in the School for the Deaf all that year. She brought her son with her that day and as she entered the house, I heard a voice. The story starts getting weird now. I heard a voice and the voice said, "Place your hand on this little boy and pray for him," There was no way I was going to lay my hands on this child. I didn't know the woman well enough. You know, one doesn't just do that, touch people like that. I have always respected people’s space. I prayed for him in my heart because I felt bad for him but I didn't lay a hand on him. Then the lady left my home.
An hour later my niece came over with her eleven month old son. This boy was very allergic to milk. They came into my home and again I heard this voice, "Place your hand on this little boy and pray for him." The voice was real; I heard it in my head. I immediately thought I was hallucinating though I have never hallucinated in my whole life. Again, there was no way that I was going to put my hands on her son,( because my niece is going to think I'm crazy if I do this.) I told her, "you stay here with my two boys and I'm going back to church." (To do that hour of Adoration that I had not done the night before.)
I came into the church and in my hands . . . I started feeling a sensation in my hands, pins and needles and a real numbness on the inside of my hands. I was thinking, "Oh my goodness, I'm going to have a stroke!" I'm over forty and I'm overweight, I’m going to die. This is a good place to die, right here in front of the Blessed Sacrament…." Take me now Lord!"…waiting for death and death did not come. Then I started asking myself what could it be? ...Carpal tunnel syndrome!… That’s it. I'm going to need surgery and who’s going to do my dishes and who’s going to wash my floors? I didn't know what the numbness was. I'm a registered nurse and I was thinking about all the things that could possibly cause numbness in my hands. I stayed an hour but again, I didn't say one prayer.
When I left, there was a Filipino lady who left at the same time. She came right up to me, and grabbed my hands. I thought, (lady what are you doing?) You just don't approach people you don't know very well, you just don't go up and grab a person’s hands. She came up to me and said, "Are you okay?" I wasn't visibly upset. I said, "Yes, I'm okay, but I feel pins and needles in my hands." She said, "Can you feel it? The Holy Spirit is right here!" I thought, "Oh, boy," but I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, can’t you feel it?" I said, "No, I just feel pins and needles in my hands." She said, "Can I come to your house?" I thought well she couldn’t possibly be an axe murderer, because she just spent an hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament. She followed me to my home.
The minute she stepped into my house she said, "I sense there's going to be lots of people coming here, and you're going to be praying over them. You have the gift of healing hands. God is talking to you, listen to Him!" I freaked! I started to cry. I said, "There's no way possible this could ever happen. You know things like this happen to holy people, people who are good and holy. They surely wouldn't happen to me." I didn't want to hear anything more about it. My hands were really, really itchy, she said, "Just calm down, calm down and be obedient!" then left my home. I was glad she was gone.
That night . . . my husband, I have to tell you my husband is a wonderful man but he had no religious upbringing whatsoever. He never discussed God. In fact, before we were married the only thing I ever told him was, "Don't ever make me choose between you and God, because you'll lose every time." I'm a pretty tough broad! He lets me do whatever I want, he is very tolerant and has had to be become even more tolerant as the years go by because, he has lost his garage to make a chapel room for our prayer meetings, our cenacles. Not to mention the traveling. Perhaps he's screaming in his head...
He said, "Something is bugging you. You have to tell me what is wrong?" I said, "I can't talk to you about this. You'll never believe it." He said, "You have to tell me what is bugging you. You have to tell me what it is." I thought ( how can I start talking about the Holy Spirit to a poor ignorant man?) I said, "You'd better sit down because this is going to knock your socks off." I showed him the medal I bought, I told him what those ladies had said about the Holy Spirit and about the itching in my hands. Then I told him I heard voices... Did you ever tell your husbands that you heard voices?... I braced myself, " he's going to think I'm crazy..." ...After a short while he said, "Maybe God wants you to do something." I looked at him and thought, (who are you?) I know now it was not him speaking. Those words would never have come out of his mouth.
That night I went to bed. I was tossing and turning. At two thirty I jumped up and something was urging me to get up and write something down. My kids, when they were little, woke me up every two hours for five years and I didn't want to get up. I just took and wrapped my blanket around me and thought if I didn't move at all, I would go back to sleep. Then I heard, "Be obedient, be obedient, be obedient!" It was pounding in my head enough that I kicked the blankets off and thought " Okay already!" I got up and went into my kitchen. I didn't know what I was doing.
I took a piece of paper and within a few minutes I had this beautiful prayer written out, using words and expressions I have never used before in my life. I looked at it and thought, "This is beautiful." This prayer was in my head. I went back to bed and prayed for the two boys I hadn't prayed over and I prayed for my dad, who was going blind and I prayed for people who had cancer and I prayed for people who had allergies; I prayed until five thirty in the morning.
The next day was the Cenacle at that lady’s home at one o’clock, I went over there and here was that Filipino lady outside, waiting for me. She hardly ever went there. She came up and grabbed my hands and said, "Were you up at two thirty?" I hadn’t said anything to anybody, I said, "Yes." She said, "I said all fifteen decades for you. God is talking to you. He wants you to do something. You have to do it. Can’t you feel it?" I said, "No. All I feel is itching in my hands. Leave it alone and please don't talk about this anymore." She said, "Go talk to a priest."
We had a new priest in our parish, Father Denis Phaneuf and all I knew about Father Denis was that he didn't put up with any bologna. He was a straight shooter. He would probably tell me I was sick, go and see a doctor or something. Don't bother me with this kind of stuff. I certainly wasn't going to go tell a priest I was hearing voices. I didn't want to say anything to anybody. Besides my sister was coming from Montreal and we were going to visit my brother in Flin Flon. ( northern Manitoba)My brother was a police officer ( RCMP) up there, and we were going to go fishing and then we were going to Calgary to visit my other sister. There was no time to go talk to a priest. I did tell my mother and I swore her to secrecy.
In the car when we travel with my parents, we pray; we say one rosary, one Chaplet of Mercy, one rosary, another Chaplet of Mercy and then another rosary, and another Chaplet of Mercy ... then we start over. It's a long way to Flin Flon and it's a longer way to Calgary. Every time I prayed, my hands would begin to tingle again with the feelings of pins and needles.
Two weeks go by and I went camping with my sons to Wakaw Regional Park. My youngest son goes into the water the very first day. When he came out, he was shaking, had a runny nose and a temperature. He was very prone to ear infections; he was getting three or four ear infections a year. I was angry because we just got there and I didn't want to have to come back to Saskatoon. I placed my hand on him, I said that prayer. The next day he was good as new, not a sniffle, not a cough, no temperature. We had a wonderful week. I thought this is really cool... oh it’s just coincidence! I must have misdiagnosed him.
The following Monday was August 18th and school was starting early for the Catholic School Board. All the moms were in the hallway with their cheque books, waiting to pay registration. Just to be polite, I asked the lady beside me, "How are you?" I didn't know her at that time. She said, "I'm having such a terrible summer; I have arthritis in my left shoulder... I can't lift my arm more then this...I can't wear my wedding rings... I haven't worn them for five years... I can't do my housework... I'm having a terrible summer." on and on and on...I was sorry I had asked. Out of the blue and I don't know why I said this either. I said, "Would you like me to pray over you?" My mouth must have dropped because I couldn't believe I had said those words out loud. I thought, (my goodness, if she agrees, I'll have to do it.) I didn't want to do that. She said, "Yes." I thought, (Oh my! There are people all over. Let‘s go behind a door.) We went and hid behind the door. I think it's funny now but at the time, this was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I placed my hand on her left shoulder and said that prayer and she said, "Thanks," and she left.
I thought (I’m never doing this again, this is too hard) I have to go and talk to a priest. I telephoned the rectory and he wasn't here. I left my name and number. Father Denis returned my call. I said to him, "My name is Carmen Humphrey and I have something really important to talk to you about." He answered, "I have no time to talk to you!" I thought (Thank you God!) I thought a priest talks to everybody. I thought this was my answer from God. It’s all going to go away.( the tingling in the hands, the voices… etc) I haven't told anybody about it. I’m still cool, nobody knows. My mom is sworn to secrecy. It'll just go away... all of this stuff will just go away.
Two days later, Father Denis calls me. He said, "Your name and number is on my desk here. Did you call me?" "No," I said. He then said, "I want to talk with you." I thought okay, what could he possibly do? He can't take my children away from me. He can't fire me. He's not going to throw me out of the Church. I thought I'll go and tell him everything. I went to the rectory at one o’clock on August 28th. As I started talking, I could tell he was very sleepy, ( I later found out he is diabetic and was indeed tired.) so I hurried and I told him everything. I showed him the prayer I had written. I told him about the itching in my hands... I told him about the voices I heard... I told him what those ladies had said about the Holy Spirit... He was yawning (Good Grief! … he must be bored!) Finally, he said, "So what's your problem?" I said “ this is a pretty big problem!” He said, "You should get down on your knees and thank God. He has given you the gift of healing hands." I couldn't believe it, "That's supernatural!" "You bet your boots it's supernatural!" he said. I replied, "I'm not good enough a person for this to happen to." "Well, who do you think you are?" I said, "I'm a sinner." "Sinners go to hell." I was starting feeling pretty bad. I could hardly wait to get out of there. He said, "Jesus died on the cross to make you worthy. We're all worthy of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Don’t try to figure out why God would choose you to do something like this, you’ll never figure it out. Just do it!" I asked, "What is the itching in my hands?" He replied, "Oh, that's the Holy Spirit wanting you to touch people, to bless them, to heal them, just do it, just do it. He has even given you a format, just do it!" I replied, "I am a stay-at-home mom. I never go anywhere. I never do anything. I never see anybody." He said, "Oh, don't worry about that. If God wants you to do this, He'll figure a way out." He also said that I could refuse to do this and God would just go on to some one else and that He would not love me any less, but I should try and see what God can do. Then he gave me the combination to the church and said, "Come whenever you want."
I went home and telephoned my mother and we cried on the phone for a long time. I had to tell my family. It's easy to tell most of my family about stuff like this. But I have one sister who lives here in Saskatoon; she's very spiritual and very smart. She doesn't fall for any kind of sensationalism. She's skeptical about stuff like that. She would never believe me. She has known me very well my whole life. She would never believe me, but I still had to tell her because I didn’t want her to hear from somebody else. On Labor Day Monday, I went to her home. I brought my other sister with me for support and I told her the whole story. She said, "That's wonderful. Things like this happen to people we read about but never meet. For this to happen to someone we know, someone in our own family, where we can tap into this resource any time we want. This is wonderful... You're not leaving here until you pray over me." Her reaction was completely, totally different than what I had anticipated.
The next day I woke up and thought, "this can't possibly be true, it must have been my imagination!" I studied physics, biology, physiology, mathematics, two plus two is always four! I can't believe any of this stuff… I went to church. I was there all alone. I sat in front of the Tabernacle and said, "God, I don't believe you would do this to me... Not that I don't believe You can do it... I need proof... I need a sign. I don't want people to make a fun of You and I don't want people to laugh at me. I need a sign and it’s gonna have to be a pretty big sign, a slap-in-the-face kind of sign." (Because what do I know about signs, I'm an idiot when it comes to stuff like that.)
I went home and went into my backyard. I'm not a gardener but I was pulling weeds. I have a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary in my backyard. As I was pulling weeds, here I find this rose bush that I didn't plant, with thorns and everything. I thought, "That could be a sign." What's a sign? I don't know, a rose bush? Moses saw a bush... Then I thought...Ah... I live in an area where there's lots of flowers, flowers everywhere so there must be some odd reason, some root traveled underground and came up here. I go into my house and start washing my floors. I thought I was going crazy. For six weeks I thought (I'm a mental case) this could not possibly be true. I thought (all of this is in my head.) As I was washing my floor, I got up and telephoned the lady ( Sylvia) the one who had told me that I was going to receive a gift from the Holy Spirit and she said, "Come over."
I went over to her home and said. "I don't believe God would do this to me." She said, "This is Lucifer talking. You have to fight him off. He'll put all kinds of doubts in your head. He'll try to stop you from doing this. You have to fight him." I thought... you want me to fight the devil? I need some help. I said, "I want you to pray over me." I knelt down and she put her hand on my head. I wasn't listening to what she was saying. I just said, "Holy Spirit, come into my heart and fix it." ...and I was slain in the Spirit. It appears I went down like a rock. It felt like slow motion and as I was falling, I could feel the Presence of Holy Spirit. I felt at peace. I lay there on the floor for five seconds and thought... this could be a sign. I know that it could be a sign because I wouldn't fall down for anything. I felt at peace. I felt more at peace than I had all summer. My hands were really itchy again. I got up and felt wonderful. I had no more doubts. I knew for sure that I had received the gift of healing hands, I didn’t know how, I didn’t why, I didn’t know what I was going to do with it but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had received this gift. I felt like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders. I felt so good. I went home.
The next day was ‘meet the teacher day’ at school. I didn't want to meet the teacher because I had met her already. She was the same teacher as the year before and I didn't want to go. My youngest boy said, "I have drawn a picture and it's on my desk and you have to go and get it." He made me feel guilty enough, I went to the school reluctantly . I opened the door and here's that woman with the arthritis. She comes running to me and said, "I've been trying to get a hold of you." I said, "What?" She said, "I'm healed." I said, "What do you mean you’re healed?" She was raising her arm up and down. Again she said, "I’m healed!" I thought… (this is a pretty big sign.) I said, "You better thank God for this because He's the One who healed you. I can't heal anybody. Only God can do that!" If some one tells you they can heal you, they are wrong….Only God heals!
The next morning I went back to the church and I said, "Okay, I believe You. and I say YES LORD! ...and I'm willing to do this but I don't know how I'm going to do this. You're going to have to do it for me because I'm not going to stand on the corner of the street and touch people as they go by."
I started recording the people I prayed over, just their first names and recording any feedback. For a few months I did that. After eleven months, I had prayed over fifteen hundred people and I had seen one hundred fifty miracles. Then I decided not to write names down anymore because this is God’s business, and all the glory should go to God. He's the One doing this. I saw so many miracles. I have to tell you that the little boy never did go deaf, my nephew is not allergic to milk and my son never did get another ear infection ever again. I'm sure my mouth hung to the floor all day long because I was in awe all the time of God's goodness. He's so loving, and He heals us. I would see all these miracles. Not a week would go by without my seeing a miracle. One time I saw swollen feet shrink right in front of me. It just blows my mind. I'm still in awe every time it happens.
In the spring of 1998, things became a bit more complicated. I started having visions... Now I thought I was really crazy because I was seeing things...( in my head.) This would always happen when I was in prayer and my eyes were always closed. Now when I started having visions, my mom advised me to get a spiritual advisor. I do have a spiritual advisor and several people I consult with. I thank God for their wisdom and patience with me.
My spiritual advisor explained that God uses my imagination, my knowledge, my passed experiences and forms an image in my head. God teaches me through these visions, sometimes He gives messages to the person I'm praying over. The Holy Spirit gives me the understanding of the vision although most of them are self explanatory.
I want to share with you some of these visions. I've had close to 300 visions.
One of them happened during mass at St. Mary’s Church, the spring of 1999. The reading during the mass was the Conversion of Saint Paul. I love that reading. I was really listening and following in my mass book. All of a sudden the church became really big. I thought (oh my! I’m having a vision right during mass.) I closed my eyes, and the church continued to grow. It had different levels. It even had a dungeon in it and a crooked little passage going deeper into the ground and it filled up with water. The water at the top was very clear. Then the water got darker and became murky. At the bottom it was muddy. All the people of the earth became fish in the water. The fish that were at the top in the clear water, we could see Jesus through squiggly lines, Jesus was feeding us. We were absorbing all this food. To us it was fish food and we were like hungry fish. Those fish grew very big and very strong. The fish that were a little deeper did not see the food all the time, so they didn't eat all the time but when they ate they grew a little bit. Then they would get lost in the dark water, so the fish were smaller and smaller until at the bottom there was just little tiny fish. They never saw the food, never ate and never grew. This was in color. It was like watching a big screen TV and it was in detail. I was just mesmerized by what was going on in the picture. Then all of a sudden the water started to shake. We were all looking at each other. We looked up and saw a flat barge. Jesus was standing in the barge and he was calling all of the fish to come to the barge. Now the big fish at the top were strong enough, they could have jumped in...like that. Jesus didn't want them to do that. He threw this large net into the water. The net had different size holes in the mesh and the Virgin Mary was in the water with us. Then the Blessed Virgin Mary said, "It's time for everyone to gather into the net. Before you go into the net, you have to get those little fish in the corner over there." She would send the big fish to get the little fish and bring them into the net. Some fish didn't want to get left behind, so they kind of attached themselves to the fins of the bigger fish and they were swung into the net without too much trouble. Some fish were scared and they swam the other way. Mary said, "Go and get those fish." All the fish were being gathered. Mary was obviously the one bringing all these fish into the net. She said, "The little fish at the bottom, you've got to go get them." They didn't want to come, and they hissed at us, they swam backwards and dug themselves into the mud. We said, "Mary, they don't want to come." "Well, go and get some more bigger fish and bring them all up." Finally all the fish are gathered into the net and Jesus lifts up the net. As He lifts the net, the fish that don’t want to be in there swim in between the other fish and jump out the holes and the fish that did not want to fall out were kind of supported by the bigger fish. The bigger fish cannot fall because they were too big for the holes. Jesus picks up the net and puts it in the barge. That was the end of the vision.
When I came about I had missed the gospel, the homily, the intentions, the Holy Holy Holy… and I heard, "The night before he died, Jesus took the bread." I could see Jesus through squiggly lines feeding us. It was an odd feeling but this was one of the most beautiful visions I’d had. It was like the whole Bible in a nutshell, because Jesus feeds us. He feeds us with the Sacraments. We have the Eucharist, Reconciliation. We have everything we need to go to heaven. Those who absorb what Jesus feeds us grow strong but they must pray for others who are not strong. Mary takes us to Jesus and Jesus doesn’t want to lose even the smallest of souls and we will all have a chance to go to Jesus but also we all have the choice of swimming in between the bigger fish and falling out the holes.
The second vision I want to share with you is this: We were up on a hill and I saw this big valley in front of us and I could see Jesus being crucified. I saw them put the nails in his hands. I saw the whole thing. It was frightening, terrible to see and boy... did I cry! After he died, I saw a big cloud coming from the right hand side. There were people scattered all over. There was rain and thunder and lightening and people were scared. I saw the outline of God the Father. I saw his hand reach down and pick up the cross with Jesus still on it. He brought it up to his right shoulder. There were big crevices in the ground, and people were falling into the crevices. There was lightening and thunder. For a split second I felt the disappointment that God had in His creation. That He had sent His only Son to save us and that we were still sinning. Then I saw His left hand come out... It was like 3-D, a big hand coming out. His hand was closed and He opened it and there was a dove in His hand. He blew on the dove and let it go. The dove started flying over the valley. Every time it would flap its wings, I could feel cool wind on my face. It was a very nice vision.
This is the next vision I want to share: This vision happened during Adoration. My mom had phoned and said, "I want you to pray for this person and this person." I had about twenty minutes left in the hour. I closed my eyes and I saw this long, long table. It was about sixty feet long and there was a white cloth on the table. Jesus was sitting at the other end. I said, "Jesus, you're so far away. I know I'm always bothering You all the time because I'm asking You for this and that. You know, we need to see some healings here because people don't know You anymore, they need proof." As I was talking the table was shortening. It became shorter and shorter, until it was about a foot long. Jesus was sitting right in front of me. He took my hands in His and looked into my eyes. He said, "My precious daughter, you do not bother me. All those people that you pray for are very precious to Me. Tell them how much I love them. Do not concern yourself when you find yourself in all these different situations. I thank you for your boldness and your obedience. I will use you often, I love you, my daughter."... Even as I speak of this vision, I see Jesus' eyes and I see the love He has for you. This love cannot be discribed, I cannot find the words. This love is Divine, It's perfect! If any of you doubt Jesus' love please know HOW MUCH JESUS LOVES YOU!!!
As you see, I have had beautiful visions.
I just want to speak a little bit on the reflections I've had over the last little while... how we're really here to glorify God. Everything we do in our lives should be for the glory of God, not for ourselves and how the priest put it so nicely today, we try to define ourselves with bigger homes and material things. We are a very spoiled society. When we're hungry, we eat. When we're thirsty, we drink. When we feel bad, we take something to make us feel better. We want everything now. We are very spoiled. . . we just want and want and want. There is so much suffering in the world. We wonder why. It is a direct result of sin. The consequence of sin is suffering. It all comes down to this very basic element. If I steal five dollars from you, I 'm the one who sins and you're the one who suffers. The person who sins is not necessarily the one who suffers.
Because we are all one in the same body of Christ, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, we are all together in this world and when we sin it affects everybody else, when we do good it affects everybody else, like a ripple affect. Everything that you hear and that you see has an effect on you, on your flesh. It can eventually make you sick. It can make you suffer.
We know that children are dying of cancer in hospitals, what did they ever do? Whose fault is that? It is because we are sinful. If we were not so sinful, there would not be so much suffering in the world. All sin has to be atoned and we are so sinful. People are sleeping around, sleeping together before marriage, living together. We are permitting abortions even in this very city, we cheat and lie and gossip, we watch unmentionable trash on TV and at the movies, we go to communion with mortal sins in our hearts without going to confession. Some say," I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not hurting anybody, I'm only hurting myself if at all. It's my choice." No, you never go to hell alone and you never go to heaven alone. You always bring a bunch of people with you. We're all responsible for the sufferings in the world... If you sin, and you don't ask forgiveness for that sin and you don't atone for that sin, and you don't try to stop that sin, I guarantee you that some one will suffer for that sin, it may be you or a family member or a stranger but someone will suffer for that sin... All sin must be repaired. ..the pain due to sin also needs to be repaired... but we must remember that Jesus died for all of us; His Mercy is endless!... so if we ask forgiveness, Jesus will forgive us. When we go to confession, our sins are forgiven, the bonus is that with the absolution we get with the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we get the "Grace", that wonderful Grace. What is Grace?...It's an invisible help from God. Who doesn't need that?
What do we do about the terrible state of the world?... We have to become the holy people that God wants us to be. How do we become holy? We become holy by praying, by staying faithful to the sacraments, by reading the Bible, by going to confession and asking for mercy for our souls daily, (a daily conversion of the heart,) by saying the rosary daily, by fasting, by penance, by loving others like Jesus loves us! Basically by following the commandments!
Know that ultimately, we will be judged on the love we have in our hearts.
Know that through all the suffering, the anguish, the turmoil people suffer, the LOVE of God will sustain you.
Know that in a million years our souls are going to be alive as they are today. There are only two places our souls can be, heaven or hell for all eternity and we have to choose now where we want to be in a million years.
I want to see you all in heaven.
Updated Jan 2013
My life continues to be filled with seeing the Glory of God and the Hand of the Holy Spirit practically on a daily basis. Many things have happened since the beginning of my ministry. I continue to hold a Marian Cenacle every Tuesday. They are awesome! More and more people attend, we have about 50-70 regular who attend weekly. I have actually moved the Cenacle into our garage because my house was too small to accommodate everybody.
I pray with many people, some in person and some over the phone. I have given talks in several churches around here and as far as Calgary, Edmonton, Quebec and southern Quebec, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Northern and Southern Ontario. I have also been to England and Ireland, France, all over the States. My children are growing up and so I am able to travel more easily and would speak where ever I am invited. Arrangements can be made by contacting me through this website address: firstname.lastname@example.org
The visions and locutions of Jesus and Mary are filled with love and mercy and hope. Many people have contacted me through this website and I add their petitions to my daily prayers. I sense that there is an underground quiet but very powerful network of prayer going on. One that will bring about the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will descend upon each person on earth and they will have a true conversion of the heart.